Let me just say this--I'm tired today. Tired of getting up early, making the long drive to work. Tired of picking up slack and cleaning up messes. Tired of being asked to do more than one person can do, and tired of my seeming inability to come out and say so. I'm tired of coming in early for Tuesday meetings that start before my workday begins. I'm tired of staying late for Tuesday meetings because of a time change on another end. I'm tired of rushing out, only to sit in the car another hour before I can see the man I love, or do the things I love. I'm tired of parking tickets from the City of Cambridge fascists, and I'm tired of dog poop in the back yard.
As I ran the normal route around the Charles, at last with my beloved, accompanied by the now-familiar dull ache of my right buttcheek and hamstring and an ominous scraping in my left knee, I thought about the basketball game I'd surely be late for. I thought about my shitty day, and the aches in my body from Sunday's half marathon. I thought about whether my body was prepared to take on the Boston Marathon again, and even knowing that it was, how I'd find the time to train. I thought about all of the emotional crankiness my beloved has had to put up with these last couple weeks (though he's 100% wonderful about it).
The truth is I am stretched too thin. And I'm tired of it. I know that tomorrow brings more deadlines at work, that I've yet to finish a fundraising distribution list, let alone send a letter, that I've been reading the same book for two weeks and magazines are piling up. I know that there is no easy fix, and that sometimes we have to grit our teeth and ride it out. But, oh, right now I am just plain exhausted, mentally and psychologically.
Tonight, though, I will try to put this out of my head. I'll focus on the smell of long grain rice, and revel in the knowledge that Jared has steaks on the grill, that there is hummus in the fridge, and a Sam Adams in my hand.
I like to think of many things like this:
When you can't sprint, run. When you can't run, walk. When you can't walk, crawl. If it takes the force of your will alone to do it, it can still be done. And remember that this too shall pass.And sometimes, take a break and have a cold beer.
5 comments:
Sending lots of positive energy your way, Abby!! Even though Jared has been wonderful (and I have no doubt he's been your saving grace!), if I can ever carry some of the burden for you, let me know. That includes keeping those folks on the other end of your meetings in line....don't think I've forgotten about the flying tackle!
And the people said A-MEN!
I'm not going to lie... that picture kind of looks like a zombie Han solo frozen in carbonite!
I really like the picture. Think you could find it in a large patch for the back of my leather jacket? If I rode home with that the neighbors would keep their grandkids out of my back yard.
Tuesdays don't seem like good days. But when they're done, well, you don't have to think about it for another 6 days. Meetings are essentially a waste of everyone's time. I'm ordering a poster that says, "There is no problem too small that it can't be made worse by holding meetings to discuss it."
Vent as needed and hang in there, little one. Know we're on your side.
Post a Comment